You gotta love retirees

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Subject: You gotta love retirees

A TRIP TO COSTCO        Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large    bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit,    the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a    woman behind me asked if I had a dog.        What did she think I had, an elephant? So since    I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I    told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was    starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I    probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the    hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds    before I awakened in an intensive care ward with    tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in    both arms.        I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet    and that the way that it works is to load your    pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat    one or two every time e you feel hungry. The food is    nutritionally complete so it works well and I was    going to try it again. (I have to mention here    that practically everyone in line was now    enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if    I ended up in intensive care because the dog food    poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb    to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us    both.        I thought the guy behind her was going to have a    heart attack he was laughing so hard.        Costco won't let me shop there anymore.        Better watch what you ask retired people. They    have all the time in the world to think of crazy    things to say. Forward this (especially) to all    your retired friends......it will be their Laugh    for the day